Lunar Threads

So as I said in the introductions thread....I've been gone for a while. There are several reason why, but the primary reason is this: I lost my fiance. I was with this girl for 3 years and about 6 months of that we were engaged. Anyway, I went through a period of unemployment at the end of 2008 and early 2009. During this time I was a little bitter and I was sad all the time. My ex felt that I wasn't appreciative of her or that I was paying her enough attention while I was going through this. Finally, I got a VERY low-paying job (which I'm still at) selling Eyeglasses for a company called Eyear Optical. Unfortunately by that time the damage to our relationship had already been done. She shortly afterward went to VA for some additional training for her job. She was up there for a full month. When she finally came back I found out that she had fallen for a bartender up there and that she wasn't ready to get married anymore. This crushed me. She said she wasn't sure that I was "the one", but she said she also wasn't sure that I WASN'T "the one" either. She suggested that we do open dating. That way we could date other people and still date each other and she could "see what was out there". In a last ditch effort to save the relationship I agreed to this. This nightmare went on for 2 months until June 17th (three days before my birthday). I told her she needed to make a decision. Unfortunately, her decision ended up NOT being me. The months that followed were tough. I tried to bury myself in my work and focus on my sales. I also went through several rebound dating relationships. No mater what I did I couldn't find happiness. Well, finally....several months later, after months of counseling and lots of consoling from friends, I'm pretty happy again. I'm not all the way there though. I'm actually dating someone right now, but I'm gunshy about commitment bc of what I've been through. In spite of that though....I'm a fairly happy person. Anyway, I just figured I'd share this with you guys.
P.S.- To add fuel to the fire, I just bought the first new car of my life recently. It was a 2010 Toyota Corolla...one of the recall cars. Just my luck huh? Lol.

Ouch. Been there, actually, or at least a similar situation, although the relationship didn't last as long in my case.

But still, glad to hear things seem to be looking up, minus the bit about the car. That should be fixed soonish, though, yeah? Car companies can't afford to dawdle about safety recalls and get a bad reputation.

Yeah, that's true. I find it ironic that the FIRST brand new car that I've ever bought in my life just happens to be recalled. I also find it ironic that it's the first time in history that a Corolla has been recalled. Go figure, huh? Lol. Anyway, I appreciate your sympathy. Everything with my ex has been a rough road. Having a low-paying job in this crappy economy doesn't help either. It feels practically impossible to get a new job right now. I'm flourishing in the job I'm at bc I'm the top salesman in the company, but my boss is such a cheapskate that he won't pay me what I'm worth. He knows I won't quit either bc he also knows how tough it is to get a job in this economy, so he's kinda got a handle on me for now. Just wait though....when the economy gets better I'm gonna get a high profile sales job making at least $50,000 and leave him high and dry wishing he'd paid me more. Lol. Hopefully I can get over my fear of relationship commitment soon too. I guess we'll just have to see what the future holds.

That's really rough, man. Last year, I also had a long relationship end after a long distance relationship. I think it was better in my case because she didn't fall for anyone else, she just realized that she didn't want to marry me, and then told me. So I didn't come off with the additional fear of commitments being betrayed... just the more banal one of them potentially melting away.

The most difficult part is getting to the point where you're not blaming yourself, you're not blaming her, you're not really blaming anything, but... that's just what occurred, and now you can try again, eventually, all the wiser. I still feel a little soreness at times, sort of a phantom twinge, and I think that's normal for a long while ... but for now, you sound like you're slowly on the up-and-up, and I hope things continue to improve for you.

I'm glad to hear that it's getting better, but keep in mind that healing takes time. Whenever there's a huge change to your life, especially one that hurts it's going to leave it's mark for a while. I'm not saying I understand how you feel, but when my father died I was devastated and there was a level of heartbreak from just everything for a while because in a strange way everything reminded me of him and how he was no longer a part of my life and it'll never be like it was. It got easier and I'm now leading a pretty happy life, but that kind of healing takes a while.

When a dating partner says the words "try other people," it's time to move on. A girl tried to pull this mess on my nephew and he dumped her on the spot. Me, I just keep relationships short and sweet. I think my longest was around 6 months or so.

Wow, you've had it rough.

I'm just glad things are getting better for you and I hope things continue to get better for you.

I could go on and on forever about telling you how much your story reminds me of some of my worst moments in life!
It's so disgusting and disturbing having to remember those things, yet it just lives with you.
Lately i've been very happy, to a point, that my worst enemy now is only those bad haunting memories that get the best of me when im alone at night...

So now i dont know what to think about those memories i wish i didnt have!

Do I just accept them once i'm happy??
Or do I just hate them forever and never wanna accept or even mention it once i'm happy??

I'm really sorry to hear about everything there... I'm not so good with the consolation, but at least you're back at a place where you're feeling better...

Oh, and:

AlexHiro4 wrote:P.S.- To add fuel to the fire, I just bought the first new car of my life recently. It was a 2010 Toyota Corolla...one of the recall cars. Just my luck huh? Lol.

I have a 2009 Toyota Corolla and freakin' love my car. The recall business is really overblown--it's a ludicrously rare problem and, on balance, Toyota cars are way safer than a lot of other brands out there. No really, you made a good choice; Corollas are some of the best value for your money that I've ever seen. KF

AlexHiro4 wrote:So as I said in the introductions thread....I've been gone for a while. There are several reason why, but the primary reason is this: I lost my fiance.

I know I'm still pretty new here but I thought I'd comment anyway. This hits close to home for sure. I was about to be engaged last summer, 6 years in, and then he got scared and ran off.

It's crazy how it just comes at you from out of nowhere! I hope things continue to get better for you real soon.

I just heard that a friend of mine just broke up with her fiancé. I'm beginning to suspect that it's just been a bad couple of years for love.