Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Your general gaming entertainment thread.
From Mario to Sonic, Zelda to Final Fantasy. Talk about it here.
User avatar
Jenner
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2307
jedwabna poszewka na poduszkę 70x80
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 1:24 am
Location: Happily ever after
Contact:

Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Jenner »

Man, if I'm going to play through Mass Effect 1 and romance Liara for the Les Yay the least she could do is have my Lesbian Asari Baby, seriously. TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM LIARA.

Honestly, her canon response to you dying is to hunt your body down and give your smoldering remains to Cerberus? Seriously? WUT? Especially if you've romanced her in the first game and she falls in love with you... I mean, HONESTLY WUT?

I'm sorry but if I had the racial ability to remember the genetic memories and identity of someone I loved and they got airlocked into space debris I'd do SOMETHING to make sure that legacy went on. Y'know, instead of picking fights with the Shadow Broker.

I mean... on one hand, I am THRILLED to see Liara toughen up and kick ass. I was kinda cringing at her simpering awkwardness in ME1. And I definitely don't just want her in the Kitchen cranking out Shepherds, but on the other vein this complete shift in mentality out of no where just doesn't make sense. Liara was far more reasonable.

maybe Shepherd's death made her unreasonable? Still, seriously?
HAVE MY BABY LIARA THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE.

In other news, spoilers. Also, I'm bored.
The Infamous Jenner!
Maker of Lists.
RIP Coley...
Image
still adore you Kiz.

User avatar
Jenner
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2307
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 1:24 am
Location: Happily ever after
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Jenner »

And now she doesn't even give me a conjugal visit to my space ship when I'm heading off to glorious death through the Omega Relay...

I mean seriously, the nerve.
The Infamous Jenner!
Maker of Lists.
RIP Coley...
Image
still adore you Kiz.

User avatar
Ardent Fox
Blue Dragon Ninja
Posts: 639
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:18 am
Location: Columbia, SC
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Ardent Fox »

I romanced Liara as a female Shep simply because I didn't like the male styles for Shepard and I thought it'd be much more interesting for hot female alien s3xz0rz. Beyond all that though, when I saw her again in the second one she seemed more...psychotic. But in a way it made sense, to me at least, that maybe she just snapped if you had romanced her in the first game and suddenly you're dead. Granted, doesn't make sense on the whole Cerberus aspect, but it does make sense for her sudden total shift.

If you romanced her of course.

User avatar
Jenner
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2307
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 1:24 am
Location: Happily ever after
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Jenner »

Ardent Fox wrote:I romanced Liara as a female Shep simply because I didn't like the male styles for Shepard and I thought it'd be much more interesting for hot female alien s3xz0rz. Beyond all that though, when I saw her again in the second one she seemed more...psychotic. But in a way it made sense, to me at least, that maybe she just snapped if you had romanced her in the first game and suddenly you're dead. Granted, doesn't make sense on the whole Cerberus aspect, but it does make sense for her sudden total shift.

If you romanced her of course.
TBH, I hate Male Shepherd's VA. He just seems so.. bleh. He doesn't deliver his lines with any emotion or character. It's all the same dull tone and it's BORING. I prefer Female Shep because Jennifer Hale is awesome, she gives FemShep so much...character and emotion. She IS FemShep.

WTF happened to Garrus, BTW? All of a sudden he's super intense and charming. I adore his voice.
The Infamous Jenner!
Maker of Lists.
RIP Coley...
Image
still adore you Kiz.

User avatar
Ardent Fox
Blue Dragon Ninja
Posts: 639
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:18 am
Location: Columbia, SC
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Ardent Fox »

That's a very good question! I suddenly found myself wanting him more and more in my squad because of how much of a bad ass he'd become. In ME1 I left him by the side of the road, but in 2 I was like, whoa...you and Tali are my squad. It's because of them I survived, except at the end. Then my main squad was Mordin and Miranda out of a lack of better choices.

Thane died before you ask.

User avatar
Jenner
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2307
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 1:24 am
Location: Happily ever after
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Jenner »

Ardent Fox wrote:That's a very good question! I suddenly found myself wanting him more and more in my squad because of how much of a bad ass he'd become. In ME1 I left him by the side of the road, but in 2 I was like, whoa...you and Tali are my squad. It's because of them I survived, except at the end. Then my main squad was Mordin and Miranda out of a lack of better choices.

Thane died before you ask.
Such a big loss, since he's going to die anyway.

There is a way to keep them all alive though. I'll post that up.

But seriously, <3 Garrus.

STEP ONE: GET EVERYONE'S LOYALTY.
STEP 2: SEND TALI OR LEGION THROUGH THE SHAFT, SEND GARRUS OR MIRANDA OUT TO DRAW FIRE.
STEP 3: SEND THANE OR SOMEONE ELSE WHO KEEPS DYING (Mordan for me.) BACK WITH THE CREW TO ESCORT THEM, PUT MIRANDA IN CHARGE OF THE ATTACK TEAM USE JACK OR SAMARA TO GET THROUGH THE BUGS.
STEP 4: BRING THANE AND SOMEONE ELSE WITH YOU TO FIGHT THE BIG BAD and leave everyone else behind to defend you.
???
Profit.
The Infamous Jenner!
Maker of Lists.
RIP Coley...
Image
still adore you Kiz.

User avatar
Ardent Fox
Blue Dragon Ninja
Posts: 639
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:18 am
Location: Columbia, SC
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Ardent Fox »

The most humorous of all this is that we're the only two posting about anything right now.

SheperdxChambers OTP

User avatar
Sophia
Lostest Boy
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2003 2:40 pm

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Sophia »

I shall join the fray!

I was veeeeeeery tempted to get some sweet, delicious blue action with Liara in the first Mass Effect with my FemShep...but in the end I decided to not romance anyone. Then in ME2 I got porked by Garrus. There was chafing. It was most excellent.

User avatar
Ardent Fox
Blue Dragon Ninja
Posts: 639
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:18 am
Location: Columbia, SC
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Ardent Fox »

Garrus huh? How was that anyway? I mean, was it good or I mean...does everything even work the same for him?

User avatar
Werefrog
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2047
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: Loch Tess, Winters

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Werefrog »

Geez, you're all a bunch a degenerates. No wonder Fox News did a piece on this game.

User avatar
Sophia
Lostest Boy
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2003 2:40 pm

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Sophia »

Aw, don't be that way. Also the Fox News thing was on the first game. In ME2 the naughty scenes were toned down. The 'steamiest' thing you see are Jacob's disturbingly flawless abs or Miranda's hooters.
Ardent Fox wrote:Garrus huh? How was that anyway? I mean, was it good or I mean...does everything even work the same for him?
No clue. Everything faded to black, unspeakable things ensued, and then SUICIDE MISSION. WOO! Speaking of which, the first time I went through the mission I lost Legion to that bug swarm. That'll teach me to listen to Miranda. "Oh, I can hold up a shield just fine. Let me do it." Retried, used Samara instead, everyone lived, happy end.

User avatar
Werefrog
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2047
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: Loch Tess, Winters

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Werefrog »

Sophia wrote:Aw, don't be that way. Also the Fox News thing was on the first game. In ME2 the naughty scenes were toned down. The 'steamiest' thing you see are Jacob's disturbingly flawless abs or Miranda's hooters.
That's how Sodom and Gomorrah began, I hear. It ended in Gomorreah, I believe. (That feels like a Colbert joke. Anyone know the source?)

User avatar
Sonic#
Pao Tribe Chieftain
Posts: 4678
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 3:27 am
Location: Here, there, everywhere
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Sonic# »

Aw, don't be that way. Also the Fox News thing was on the first game. In ME2 the naughty scenes were toned down. The 'steamiest' thing you see are Jacob's disturbingly flawless abs or Miranda's hooters.
You mean it's no longer a sex simulator that lets you do so many naughty things in a variety of positions? :roll:
Sonic#

"Than seyde Merlion, "Whethir lyke ye bettir the swerde othir the scawberde?" "I lyke bettir the swerde," seyde Arthure. "Ye ar the more unwyse, for the scawberde ys worth ten of the swerde; for whyles ye have the scawberde uppon you, ye shall lose no blood, be ye never so sore wounded. Therefore kepe well the scawberde allweyes with you." --- Le Morte Darthur, Sir Thomas Malory

"Just as you touch the energy of every life form you meet, so, too, will will their energy strengthen you. Fail to live up to your potential, and you will never win. " --- The Old Man at the End of Time

User avatar
Shiva Indis
White Dragon Knight
Posts: 983
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2005 3:59 pm
Location: Genjuukai

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Shiva Indis »

As everyone knows...

Character generator + sex scene = COMPLETE DEPRAVITY.

Regardless of all other circumstances.
「まあいいけど。」

User avatar
Sophia
Lostest Boy
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2003 2:40 pm

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Sophia »

Sonic# wrote:You mean it's no longer a sex simulator that lets you do so many naughty things in a variety of positions? :roll:
No, now it's a dating simulator where you get to shoot mercenaries and giant alien insects for thirty hours and then get about thirty seconds of fanservice from your character of choice. Whether that's a good or bad thing, I leave up to you.

User avatar
Jenner
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2307
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 1:24 am
Location: Happily ever after
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Jenner »

Ardent Fox wrote:Garrus huh? How was that anyway? I mean, was it good or I mean...does everything even work the same for him?
Well... y'know as long as you don't *cough* ingest....

Mordin is one of my favorite characters... his lil' lecture about the depravity of cross-species lovin' made me howl with laughter.

Also, I don't know about the rest of you but I'm having the biggest crush on Jack right now, she is SO AWESOME.

woah... ME2 is totally like a dating sim with blood and explosions. My mind is blown.

MICHAEL BAY'S DATING SIM. BLAAAUGH.

Hate Miranda...
Than suicide mission, WOOO!
That's always how I wanted my first experience with sex to end. M'just saying.
Shepherd x Chambers
*vomits all over her keyboard.* Her vagina is probably as big as a Mass Effect Relay. (and probably more traversed... >.>)

Joker x EDI though, totally Canon.
You guys are depraved!
We are not... we're just making space a better place for our genitals
The Infamous Jenner!
Maker of Lists.
RIP Coley...
Image
still adore you Kiz.

User avatar
Ardent Fox
Blue Dragon Ninja
Posts: 639
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:18 am
Location: Columbia, SC
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Ardent Fox »

Jenner wrote:
Joker x EDI though, totally Canon.
I'd love to see the hot steamy scene for that one.

User avatar
Jenner
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2307
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 1:24 am
Location: Happily ever after
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Jenner »

Ardent Fox wrote:
Jenner wrote:
Joker x EDI though, totally Canon.
I'd love to see the hot steamy scene for that one.
I imagine it'd look like Seth Green humping a monitor. Oh man, I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.
The Infamous Jenner!
Maker of Lists.
RIP Coley...
Image
still adore you Kiz.

User avatar
Ardent Fox
Blue Dragon Ninja
Posts: 639
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2009 6:18 am
Location: Columbia, SC
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Ardent Fox »

The fact that people still talk to you even after you've chosen all the renegade comments, the actions and even kicked a puppy across the room is a bit mystifying. You're like space Hitler but you're still the commander. Even I would love to see a space mutiny.

User avatar
Jenner
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2307
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 1:24 am
Location: Happily ever after
Contact:

Re: Jenner's Humorous ME2 Tangent Thread.

Post by Jenner »

Ardent Fox wrote:The fact that people still talk to you even after you've chosen all the renegade comments, the actions and even kicked a puppy across the room is a bit mystifying. You're like space Hitler but you're still the commander. Even I would love to see a space mutiny.
I'm upset that there was no "blend puppy" option.

Jack might do a Space Mutiny. She can violently board my vessel any day.
The Infamous Jenner!
Maker of Lists.
RIP Coley...
Image
still adore you Kiz.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 32 guests