Lunar Threads

Hello all. I do not know where to begin, but I actually just wanted to clear the air the littlest bit here. Um, this isn't a post to instigate or to stir anything back up, but if it does seem that way to certain posters here, then so be it - but again, just so all of you all know, it's coming from a positive place. I wanted to send out an apology to Alunissage, Sonic#, Shiva Indis & Alis for remarks that I willingly admit that I stated and have caused discontent amongst themselves, obviously or not obviously to some. I do not know what else to say other than I have been browsing the board and there has been some sort of stale air and I guess I just wanted to throw it out there that I have noticed there being some sort of awkwardness between myself and Alunissage + Sonic# in particular. Just to blurt it out to make anyone there feel better if any feelings were left sore, I do sincerely want to make amends and I'm sorry if you all were offended.

I actually want to see this forum brighten up and I want to see smiling faces amongst those that have been impacted in any way by the LUNAR series and I feel that I might've unknowingly treaded into territory I shouldn't have or brought something up that I probably shouldn't? But, just so you all know, again, I am not some troll and everything I do is, like, in good-nature. Maybe I am the awkward one, I do not know! It's kind of, like, I personally do not like to feel cornered especially in a realm where I feel like you can be felt trapped in, so... perhaps I was the one that just took things the wrong way, to say so.

Also, just to make things brief, I am open to whatever in regards to video game culture, and I feel a lot of the drama that's kind of still wafting around the corners of this space just needed to be cleansed, whether or not it's there, or not there, I just wanted to address my own personal actions. I'll send you all some private apologies. Take care around the Winter solstice!

Apologies: What, When and How

John Scalzi wrote:The offense is yours. Own it. “I am sorry I offended you” acknowledges the screw-up is yours, “to those who were offended, I am sorry,” sounds like you’re suggesting the responsibility for the offense should be shared, and “I’m sorry if you feel offended,” is palming off the responsibility entirely on the other person (and makes you sound like an unrepentant jackass).

You have called me confused, quivering, and angry. It is difficult to reply to you without you implying that I am one of these three things. I told you that I have never been mad at you. I'm still not mad.

When you keep second-guessing my motives, you add drama where there is none. So let's talk about your behavior.

You keep putting me on the defensive by alleging I'm on the offensive. Once or twice would be fine - we all make errors in how we read other people sometimes - but you keep doing it, even when I've told you I'm fine. I reply to you as I would any member I respect. If I see something I see as factually incorrect, I'm going to ask how you came up with that idea. If you bring up an interpretation that seems more rooted in your own perceptions than the game, I'm going to ask why you think that. That is how discussion can work. By insisting that I am confused or mad instead of focusing on what I am saying, you are not respecting me.

If you do see some anxiety in how I post, that is because you have a tendency to turn small posts into really big deals. When Alunissage called your joke sexist, you got very defensive, alternately attacking and refusing to engage other posters. Alunissage crossed a line in her manner towards you - I corrected her, and she was cool. You crossed lines, and we are still having to talk about it, because you won't let it go. When you were discussing your experience in a GameStop, I said the incident sounded curious, because you weren't doing what I would have done. It was a two sentence reply. You called me a stalker, and threatened to call the police. That is simply unreasonable. So when I reply, of course I'm anxious that TempestOne will flip out yet again on something that doesn't deserve it. As a poster, I don't like drama. As an administrator, I have to make sure to settle drama, when I don't like having to exercise my powers.

Finally, this apology also adds more drama, because it is not actually an apology for your actions, as Alunissage points out. It is an apology for our perceived offense. This is the main clause where you apologize:

I'm sorry if you all were offended.

It puts the apology on us, on how we feel. You are not apologizing for your actions here, or if you are, you haven't explained what those actions are. If you've done something that requires an apology, apologize for that, not for my offense.

So, no, I'm not angry. You do cause drama though, and I'm allowed to be anxious about that.