Google is stalking me... :(

[Jenner]

...Whenever I'm on, Google is on. Whenever I'm on a forum, Google is on that forum. Every time I'm reading a topic Google is reading that topic. Google has been calling me and hanging up. Google has been mailing me dead butterflies in boxes and I'm beginning to suspect Google may be out to get me... I'm scared

[Zophar]

Who or what the hell is google anyway? He's always online and for some odd reason he doesn't have a profile.

[phyco126]

Yeah, see Jenn, Google made all their money not from their search engine, but from kidnapping girls and selling them on the black market. No worries though, I would hate to see the things you would do to them if they tried that on you O_O

[Werefrog]

Yeah, see Jenn, Google made all their money not from their search engine, but from kidnapping girls and selling them on the black market.

So... that's how they survived the dot com burst.

[Sonic#]

Google, as an established chatbot that returns a page for every comment made to it, is qualified to answer your question.

"Are you trying to torture Jenner or what?"

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"What do you want with Jenner?"

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"Do you seek to combine your evil with Jenner's and Kizyr's to make an evil Voltron?"

... had no answer.

"Are you stalking Jenner?"

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Needless to say, Jenner's in some trouble.

[Asmodean]

Hmm... I was stalked once. It was at one of my Proms. I was dancin' and this one girl just stayed on the edge of the dance floor and stared at me all creepy like. I danced harder and went to the middle of the floor.

[Werefrog]

To quote Demetri Martin, '"A secret admirer is the same as a stalker with stationery."